Over the years I have learned to despise the Duke basketball program. It all started almost ten years ago today. The day was: April 2, 2001. The game was: The NCAA Basketball Championship – Arizona vs. Duke. Long story short, Duke wins 82 – 72. Mike Dunleavy leads all Duke players with 21 points. Shane Battier has 18. Arguably the two most annoying basketball players of all time. I am not going to reopen these scars, I’m just going to say my adolescent dislike towards Duke basketball evolved that day, it became: hate.
Becky read me an article on Huffington Post that was titled Duke’s Most Despised Players: The Easiest Team To Dislike In College Basketball. It was a charming little article about a handful of Duke’s classic d-bags: Christian Laettner, J.J. Redick, Carlos Boozer, Gerald Henderson, Jon Scheyer, Shelden Williams and Greg Paulus. Overall it was a classy little photo essay and rather funny. Well done Huffington Post. [The Virgina Tech "Teabag Paulus" chant is one of my favorites.]
I understand that it’s cool to hate on Duke, but unless Duke has beaten your team in a national championship game, you don’t know what it is like to truly hate them. AND since Duke has only played in one championship game in the last 10 years…
What’s really interesting, I love Coach K. I absolutely love the dude.
Anyway, I read an article on COMPLEX.COM yesterday that was unbearable. They wrote this piece titled: White Devil – The Top 10 Most Hated White Players From Duke. Unlike the Huffington Post story, this article was complete garbage. It was racist, ignorant and overall distasteful. I’m very disappointed in COMPLEX.
I was inspired to write my own most hated Duke players story. My list is much more thorough, I will share with you my thoughts on each player and notes from both the COMPLEX [because you have to read how terrible they are] and the Huffington Post. Unlike COMPLEX, my hate for Duke has nothing to do with race or color.
Let me start with a handful of guys that were mentioned on either the COMPLEX or Huffington Post list. I’m quite indifferent to them and they are NOT part of my most hated list.

* JON SCHEYER
WHY COMPLEX.COM HATES HIM: ESPN’s Dan Schuler writes: “He’s not your prototypical break-you-down-off-the-dribble with blow-by speed kind of point guard. I would describe him as a very cerebral player, a very unselfish player…” Doesn’t that scouting report fit everybody on this list? WHITE!
Huffington Post: Jon Scheyer has became Duke’s latest recipient of criticism as fans across the ACC have taunted him as much as they taunted Duke players of the past. In 2009, Maryland fans held photos and giant banners of Scheyer’s face, creating a game and facebook event called Operation Scheyerface.
ME: I really don’t mind the kid. He has a great shot, he seems like a soft spoken leader on the team and he plays hard. It is important to note that I can’t stand some of the faces he makes.

* DANNY FERRY
COMPLEX.COM: The prototype of the under-athletic, overachieving white Dukie had an undeniably productive collegiate career which led to him being picked second(!) overall in the ‘89 draft. He may have had some good NCAA moments, but his only pro highlights are shit like this and this. Exposed!
Huffington Post: No comment
ME: Indifferent

* CHRIS COLLINS
COMPLEX.COM: Coach K’s current assistant couldn’t cut it in the NBA, Europe, or as an WNBA coach, but if they ever start a league of undersized white guards who over-celebrate jump shots and take charges like bitches…well, first-team all-star, no doubt.
Huffington Post: No comment
ME: Indifferent

* STEVE “WOJO” WOJCICHOWSKI
COMPLEX.COM: Watching this little white gerbil pound the floor or scrap after a loose ball like the fucking kid you always hated in rec league…yep, that’s Wojo.
Huffington Post: No comment
ME: I like WOJO’s hustle on the court. He never did anything to Arizona, so we are cool. Plus he had a little confidence and style on the court that looked good on him. [unlike Paulus or JJ]

* BOBBY HURLEY
COMPLEX.COM: We can’t lie—the little PG from Jersey was pretty damn awesome at Duke, ending his career as the NCAA assists leader with a shitload of fundamentally sound chest passes. Still, back then we were riding with LJ, the Tark, and the Runnin’ Rebels. So naturally, we hated Hurley.
Huffington Post: No comment, which was shocking. Bobby Hurley was pretty terrible.
ME: BUT, I didn’t really care at this point in my Duke hating career.

OK here are my top five most hated Duke players of ALL TIME:

T-5. GERALD HENDERSON:
COMPLEX: No comment, their article was racist and focused on white players only.
Huffington Post: Students at the University of North Carolina didn’t forget Gerald Henderson’s brutal foul on UNC’s Tyler Hansbrough. To some, it looked like a blatant punch in the face. The Tar Heel Nation let Henderson know the next time the Blue Devils came to play. Student held up signs accusing Henderson of assault, battery and well…. Public Douchebaggery.
ME: I felt like Gerald Henderson was never a real Duke player. Sure he was athletic and all, but his personality never seemed to fit the Duke mold. Duke has always been a classy program that won games with fundamentals and passion. Scrappy players that out hustled their opponents and made their jumpers. Gerald Henderson was a dirty punk that tainted that team.

5. CHRISTIAN LAETTNER
COMPLEX.COM: OK, we’re not gonna hate on the jumper against Kentucky—that shit was clutch, no denying that. What’s crazy about Laettner is that the media propped him up as this blond-haired, blue-eyed basketball savior, when he was really a dirty, nasty, angry villain. Not to play the Isiah card, but if he was “Tyrone from St. John’s,” we would have been spared some of the cringe-inducing accolades. But NOPE! “Christian from Duke” gets a ‘92 Dream Team spot over Shaq. WTF!?!
Huffington Post: Christian Laettner was one of the best players to ever play at Duke, making him one of the easiest players to taunt. Laettner heard taunts and was called ‘gay’ when ever he played on the road. Taunting Laettner became so common that rumors spread that he and teammate Brian Davis were lovers.
ME: Come on, this one was easy. I agree with COMPLEX, that jumper was pretty tight, but he was garbage.

4. CHEROKEE PARKS
COMPLEX.COM: This awkward, immobile giant got his name from his great grandma, who was part of the Cherokee tribe. To think, he was already annoying as fuck before he covered himself in lame tattoos.
Huffington Post: No comment. Really?! No comment HP?! Obviously you didn’t do your research.
ME: Even if you didn’t hate Duke, the moment you saw him in that Clippers jersey rockin those tats, you would have to hate everything about him. Including where he went to college.

3. GREG PAULUS
COMPLEX.COM: After four seasons at Duke, he joined Syracuse for a year as quarterback on their football team. Are there flopping bitches in the NFL?
Huffington Post: After J.J. Redick graduated, Greg Paulus took the throne of most hated player in college basketball. Virginia Tech fans heckled him and created some distasteful chants whenever Paulus had the ball or was at the free throw line. The attention fans gave Paulus even remained when he took over as starting quarterback at Syracuse.
HP: No comment. again, really?
ME: I could easily make Greg my number one hated player of Duke basketball of all time of all of the history of the world. The kid is a serious tool. The fact that he has entered the 2010 NFL draft clearly shows how delusional he is. He just tried soo hard and it was soo difficult to watch. His defensive stance, where he would pound the floor with his hands. His Screaming. His arm pumping, the leg sleeve that he would wear or not wear. His wrist bands. His arm sleeve. His forearm sleeve. The dude had a serious basketball accessory problem.
Teabag Paulus!

T-2. CARLOS BUZZER
COMPLEX: No comment
Huffington Post: In 2001, Maryland fans took their dislike of the Blue Devils too far when they hosted Duke in Cole Field House. The mother of Duke center Carlos Boozer suffered a concussion after she was hit in the head with a bottle after the game.
ME: Carlos Carlos Carlos. You’re the epitome of the superstar Duke player and you remind me of Shane Battier and you had to go to the Jazz. All around pretty terrible life choices.

T-2. SHELDON WILLIAMS
COMPLEX: No comment
Huffington Post: When Shelden Williams played in high school, he and some of his teammates were accused of sexual assault during a trip to Ohio in 2002. The police never ended up filing any charges, but when some other students got their hands on this information, they didn’t hold back.
ME: You grew up in Oklahoma, you should have gone to OU. Rather, you went to Duke and earned the nickname: The Landlord – because of your stupid blocking skills. You traitor. You are currently married to WNBA all star Candace Parker and together you will procreate the greatest basketball player of all time, he will end up going to Duke and shattering every NCAA basketball record ever. I hate you for abandoning your home state for bluer pastures and for creating the greatest Duke player of all time. [TBD]

2. J.J. REDICK
COMPLEX.COM: He’s the quintessential arrogant, shot-happy white PG from Duke who generates enough hype to become a bench-riding NBA millionaire…and would-be rapper. Ladies and gentlemen, meet the GOAT of most hated white duke players. Congratulations, J.J.!
Huffington Post: No comment

ME: What isn’t there to hate about good ol’ JJ? I think the thing that bothered me most about him, was his arrogance. The SOB had this elitist attitude about him that I couldn’t hate more. The look on his face after he hit a three. But the thing that bothered me most was the hand gestures he used to accent his three. Please dude.

T-1. SHANE BATTIER
COMPLEX: No comment
Huffington Post: No comment
ME: You’re terrible.

1. MIKE DUNLEAVY
COMPLEX: Dunleavy Junior had the type of traditional white-man’s game (tenacious, “smart,” WHITE) that gives Dickie V boners—and pro scouts, evidently. The dude who looks like homie from Mask (not the Jim Carrey one) was drafted third overall in 2002…over Amare Stoudemire, Caron Butler, Tayshaun Prince, Carlos Boozer, to name four.
Huffington Post: No comment
ME: April 2, 2001 – You’re a chump. You’re a flopper. You shouldn’t have won that game.